Saturday, May 10, 2008

And Tango Makes Activism

In his Stoplight video commentary, Stuart Shepard explains what gay activists want your kids to learn from a book about penguins.

Hi I’m Stuart Shepard, this is Stoplight. It’s story time.

Here it is, the book that got a Virginia school official razzzed by the ladies on the View.

It’s a story of two penguins who fall in love:

Silo: [In high falsetto voice]: Hi, I’m Silo.
Roy: [In deep manly voice]: I’m Roy.
Silo: You’re cute
Roy: I look exactly like you.
Silo: Whatever. Let’s fall in love.
Roy: OK.
Did I mention both penguins are boys?
[Makes car noises] Rumm num num num num
Silo: Let’s go to Vermont for a civil union.
Roy: Ok.
[Makes more car noises] Rum num num num num
Together, they adopt an egg, and raise baby Tango.
The school official saw that the book was more about activism than flightless water fowl, and had the book removed from general circulation at the elementary school. You don’t need me to describe the outrage that followed.
Silo voice: Respect for all!
Roy voice: Censorship!
I went to a gay activist educator conference a few years ago, and one of the workshops dealt with how work gay themes into the regular curriculum, all the way down to kindergarten. “Under the radar” is how they described that.

By the way, YOU...are the radar.

They want to co opt the public schools to change how the kids in your life think about marriage, and relationships. Because you’re obviously filling their heads with crazy thoughts like, ya know, marriage being between one man and one woman.

Two problems with this whole scenario.

Number one, do we really want to take our moral cues from flightless waterfowl that order squid at the drive through? ‘Cause if we do, it’ll soon be illegal to wear anything except a tuxedo. You could be fined for setting your Jacuzzi higher than 32°. And we’d have to fly every pregnant woman to the south pole to huddle together on the ice in the 40 below zero howling wind during the six months of darkness.

*snicker*...*snicker*...The other problem is that as penguins do, Roy and Silo broke up, and Silo fell in love with another penguin, a girl penguin. Yep, he’s an ex-gay penguin.

…Take 3: Here it is, the book that got a Virginia fool…fool official, yeah, I’ve known a few of those...ok, Take 4...

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