FOF’s Stuart Shepard puts forth his best argument against Barack Obama.

Anti-Fame:

Transcript:

{~~special effects~~}:

Hi, I’m Stuart Shepard, and this is Stoplight.

Eventually it gets bad, you know it {~~Michael Jackson~~}. There comes a day when people start to say, oops, not again {~~Britney Spears~~}. It’s possible in the world of celebrity, to become so famous, to be on so many magazine covers, to collect so much TV airtime, that it becomes cool for people to say that a given celebrity is not so cool anymore {~~Barry Manilow~~}. There comes a point when a celebrity tips from fame to anti-fame {~~Brett Favre~~}.

But I had this thought, that if a politician runs as a celebrity, and the celebrity gossip magazines like Time and Newsweek, offer up positive cover after cover. And if the TV networks offer up more glowing coverage than the circumstances really demand, well…{~~Barack Obama~~}.

He ran a campaign that was all big crowds and photo ops, and he could deliver a scripted line better than any Oscar winner. And people imagined him to be whatever character they wanted, and they voted for what they imagined {~~Rock Star~~}.

Right about now, as reality starts to sink in, I can imagine a lot of those folks are privately thinking: “~~This doesn’t look anything like the change I thought he meant~~”. And by the end of summer they might just be ready to say it out loud: “THIS IS NOT AT ALL WHAT I WANTED.”

Now, it’s not a time to point fingers, and this is critical, it’s a time to say “Welcome home.” And then talk to them about the important issues at stake, the fate of pre-born babies, the definition of marriage, the role of the courts {~~Anti-fame~~fame~~fame~~}.

[announcer-like:] Coming to a polling place near you in 2010 and 2012.

Touché Mr. Shepard, touché. I accept your invitation, and now realize, to my eternal chagrin, that I should have voted for John McCain:

Hello, all 300 million of you American voters. In case of my absence, I've chosen Sarah Palin to be responsible for your safety:



"As for that VP talk all the time, I tell ya, I still can’t answer that question until somebody answers for me, what is it exactly that the VP does every day?"

Focus on the Family: No seriously, we made this within 24 hrs of the CA ruling.

And now for a sneak peak into the Focus on the Family "has its own zip-code" Headquarters…

Pay no attention to the red curtain behind the man:



Hi, I’m Stuart Shepard, this is Stoplight.
~~~
Woman: What if?

Man: What if?

Stuart Shepard: What if a court ruled that it’s unconstitutional to say that only H2O can be water?

What if judges declared it just wasn’t fair to oxygen… (“pours” empty glass of air into another empty glass (of air))

And hydrogen… ("fills" upside down glass with contents of an inflated balloon.)

So it mandated that all three are now…water.

Second woman: What if?

Third woman: What if?

Stuart Shepard: What if public schools were forced to teach it?

Original Man (now as teacher): Today we are going to study the properties of water.

It is at room temperature, a liquid. It is also a gas that you can breathe. And, it is lighter than air, and highly flammable. And that is the reason that the Hindenburg went up in flames, it was full of water.

Second man: What if?

Fourth woman: What if?

Stuart Shepard: What if ordinary people were confused by the change?

First woman: I don’t know why my plant’s not growing, I water it every day. (pretends to pour water onto dead plant with empty watering can)

Stuart Shepard: What if the health department made restaurants follow the law?

First woman (now as waitress): Alright sweetie, here’s your spaghetti, and your sweet tea. (delivers uncooked spaghetti on plate, and glass of powdered tea)

Stuart Shepard: Thank you. (*CRUNCH* - Shepard cuts into uncooked spaghetti with fork)

As an astute stoplight viewer, you already know this is not a hypothetical, it’s…California.

And it isn’t water, it’s marriage.

And Tango Makes Activism

In his Stoplight video commentary, Stuart Shepard explains what gay activists want your kids to learn from a book about penguins.



Hi I’m Stuart Shepard, this is Stoplight. It’s story time.

Here it is, the book that got a Virginia school official razzzed by the ladies on the View.

It’s a story of two penguins who fall in love:

Silo: [In high falsetto voice]: Hi, I’m Silo.
Roy: [In deep manly voice]: I’m Roy.
Silo: You’re cute
Roy: I look exactly like you.
Silo: Whatever. Let’s fall in love.
Roy: OK.
--
Did I mention both penguins are boys?
--
[Makes car noises] Rumm num num num num
Silo: Let’s go to Vermont for a civil union.
Roy: Ok.
[Makes more car noises] Rum num num num num
--
Together, they adopt an egg, and raise baby Tango.
--
The school official saw that the book was more about activism than flightless water fowl, and had the book removed from general circulation at the elementary school. You don’t need me to describe the outrage that followed.
--
Silo voice: Respect for all!
Roy voice: Censorship!
--
I went to a gay activist educator conference a few years ago, and one of the workshops dealt with how work gay themes into the regular curriculum, all the way down to kindergarten. “Under the radar” is how they described that.

By the way, YOU...are the radar.

They want to co opt the public schools to change how the kids in your life think about marriage, and relationships. Because you’re obviously filling their heads with crazy thoughts like, ya know, marriage being between one man and one woman.

Two problems with this whole scenario.

Number one, do we really want to take our moral cues from flightless waterfowl that order squid at the drive through? ‘Cause if we do, it’ll soon be illegal to wear anything except a tuxedo. You could be fined for setting your Jacuzzi higher than 32°. And we’d have to fly every pregnant woman to the south pole to huddle together on the ice in the 40 below zero howling wind during the six months of darkness.

*snicker*...*snicker*...The other problem is that as penguins do, Roy and Silo broke up, and Silo fell in love with another penguin, a girl penguin. Yep, he’s an ex-gay penguin.

…Take 3: Here it is, the book that got a Virginia fool…fool official, yeah, I’ve known a few of those...ok, Take 4...